"Men Suck." - The girls
"Man, the sexual innuendos fly around here so fast, I need a helmet!" - Matt
"I hate that YouDee...Fry that chicken!" - Matt
"Well it wasn't like I did it alone!" - Matt on his couch and its' history
"Matty has me every night...I live for it!" - Jenny
"We REALLY have to something about those barking spiders..." - Pete
"Not to mention the sneezing ants!" - Jenny
"Or the singing cicadas!" - Someone else
"Ahhh!! I've been boobed!" - Matty
"But I don't WANT to be Rich...he's gay!" - Matt disagreeing on his place in the alliance while playing Risk
"You've missed a class already?" "No, I've missed 2." "But it's only Thursday morning!" - Pete and Allison on Pete's Lin Alg class
"Don't go back man, keep the streak alive!" - Matt on Pete's Lin Alg class
"I can't get it now, they'll never let me forget it." - Pete on not getting in the short line at Parking Services after throwing a temper tantrum about the long 
lines
"Oh Keeeeeeevvvvviiiin...." - Allison at the Floor Meeting
"Well at least SOMEONE's getting some bootie tonight!" - The R.A. after Allison's quote
"It's time for the Australian massacre...Men, Women and Children! Muhahahahaha!" - Matt during Risk
"Hmm, so this is where your speaking Mexican comes in handy, huh?" - Matty
"This is something I'd never want another male to see me doing." - Pete on, well, you'll have to ask him
"You have your entire life to wear a suit. You only have tonight to take it off for me!" - Jenny
"I need the remote!" "Just use the T.V. buttons." "But only the remote gets it on channel 00 and we need channel 00 to play Playstation!" "AHH! Find the 
remote! Oh, my ignorance!" - Pete teaching Matt the finer points of college life
"That would sort of be like the students surpassing the teacher, eh?" - Matt after He, Natalie and Jenny used their powers of alliance to kill Matty and Pete playing Risk
"My old partner better watch out for his titrating hand." - Allison on Pete not getting to be her lab partner
"I titrate damn good." - Pete when questioned about the other quote
"We had phone sex - I'm not ashamed to admit it!" - Pete
"Don't do the homework until you can see the whites of its' eyes!" - Kevin on procrastinating
"He watches me watching him." - Pete, being philosophical about his and Matty's relationship
"What? I just stuck a needle in its' heart. It isn't MY fault it died!" - Natalie on how she DIDN'T kill her chicken
"Road Trip!" - Natalie, Jenny, Matt, Matty, and Kevin
"I'm a bouncing egg!" - Matt
"The couscous isn't raw...it's "el dente!" - Matt
We have to buy a Mexican to clean our room...either that or a Canadian." - Pete
"It wasn't like you were discussing the socioeconomic status of Haiti and I just said 'Hey guys I shit in the sink!', it evolved." - Matt
"He talks so much you'd think he was gay" - Allison about Pete
"Wait til I poop tonight!" - Allison
"Feel free to use our sink" - Matt
"Peter's gonna dance around like a baboon!" - Natalie
"I think that we should put all the animals in the world in a box and shoot it at the sun." - Pete
"The sign of intelligent people is their ability to control emotions by the application of reason." - Kyle's away message
"If all the consonants are guys and all the vowels are girls, I guess the 'Y' would be bisexual, huh?" - Matt and Kevin
"I just washed those sheets." - Kevin
"Girls are better than computers!" - Jenny
"Yeah, they give blow jobs." - Matty
"How would you know?" - Natalie
"The best was when I fingerpainted with shit!" - Pete
"She gave a good cut but I nearly lost my head!" - Matt
"Keep your eyes on that screen unless you wanna see my wang. Did I just say 'wang'?" - Matt
"Peter piper packed a pack of pilly peckers." - Pete
"86 the London Broil! 86 the Pork Chops!" - Our waiter at J.R's
"I was young. We had 40 cats." - Matty on why he can affirm that cat food doesn't taste good.
"Oh, that was for the drugs." - The waiter again, after disappearing down a dark stairway and we decided he was down there doing drugs, he confirmed our suspicions.
"That's easy - Mortimer P. Tunderwinkle" - Matt when asked if the Professor on Gilligan's Island had a real name. (Note to any Gilligan's fans out there - we're just kidding, don't email me.)
"You're not innocent. You're dirtier than that statue Matty tried to lick!" - Pete to Jenny
"There is nothing wrong with shaving your butt hairs." - Matt and Pete discussing mirrors on the ceiling
"It's ok ladies, you can call me 'Kilometer Peter,' I don't mind!" - Pete
"Man, you could like make a lasso outta that thing!" - Matt
"I prefer to be horizontal." - Natalie, while laying on Pete
"You see, Jenny, if you moved fast enough, you could just rip out Matt's esophagus." - Pete
"Let's take off his underwear!" - Pete while Matt was sleeping
"You know, I really don't have a left leg." - Pete
"We keep chocolate syrup around in case of sexual emergencies." - Pete
"I don't understand why if you are 7 years old and ask for an autograph, it's cute, whereas if I, a 21 year old, were to ask for an autograph, the guy would think I was a stalker. That just ain't fair." - Jenny
"Cute is for 6 year olds. I don't want to be cute!" - Jenny
"I'm going to bed, I gotta get up in 8 hours." - Jenny
"I'm going to bed, I gotta get up in 7 hours." - Jenny
"I'm going to bed, I gotta get up in 5 hours." - Jenny
"Screw it, I'm not going to bed." - Jenny
"Jenny, I'm in trouble. I just drew with permament marker on Pete's face." - Natalie, whispering of imminent doom
"Just sit still, Natalie. The more you wiggle the messier it's going to be." - Pete while pinning Natalie to her bed, marker poised in mid air
"Victoria's Secret - Good, Frederick's of Hollywood - Bad." - The Girls
"I think I maxxed out my monkey capacity - I'm struggling here" - Matt
"I never say anything intelligent." - Natalie
"I wish my digestive system could churn out pearls." - Jenny
"i'm college edumicated =)" - Peter
"Even I wouldn't mind if Julia Roberts tried to kiss me. Damn, you're going to make me put that on the quotes page, aren't you?!?" - Jenny
"Everything's easier with guys." - Allison
"Oh My gosh, look at that laundry in total disarray!" - Matt
"Being your friend is detremental to my odor." - Natalie
"I need head." - Jenny (who would like to point out how COMPLETLY out of context that was taken but is required to put on this page anyway)
"You two are the dynamic duo of DOOM!" - Matt
"Hey-I know when to turn the potty mouth off!" - Jenny
"Yeah, you just gotta know when to flush." - Matt, in response to Jenny's quote
"Natalie = poo face." - Courtesy of Pete, via MattBot4000's screen saver
"Natalie = poopasaurus." - Also courtesy of Pete, via MattBot4000's screen saver
"I am a big ass poopasaurus." - Matt
"I'm just going to look at the naked men in my room." - Matty
"Pete, there's a guy on our couch." - Matt
"Yeah, right." - Pete, just prior to walking out and finding out there really was a guy sleeping on their couch
"Where do you live?" - Pete to drunken sleepy guy
"Room 414" - Drunken Sleepy Guy
"I think you're in the wrong room." - Kevin to drunken sleepy guy (Drunken sleepy guy then rolls over and goes back to sleep)
"No, I'm SURE you're in the wrong room. Go Home." - Pete to drunken Sleepy guy
"Bye" - Drunken sleepy guy as he leaves the room.
"My roommate and I are tight." - Matt
"That's because he can clean out your digestive track." - Pete
"That's alcohol abuse and I won't stand for it!" - On the Hayride
"Save the beer, forget about the hay bales!" - On the Hayride
"I singed off my eyebrows a little and maybe some eyelashes, no biggie." - At the bonfire
"And your sideburns too!" - In response
"My sideburns?!?!? I burned my sideburns?!?!?!" - Again, in response
"Come on, seeing eye dog!" - Little Eric to his dog, in order to 'sneak' him on the bus
"That's so cool! I want to be swallowed!!" - Kyle, I think it had to do with Nintendo
"Isn't that what a guy is supposed to say?" - Matty
"Pardon me while I go hump this fender." - Matt
"Why me?" - Ben's license plate
"Little people have more momentum." - Kyle
"I could pass this off as studying for physics!" - Matt, on playing Mario 3
"Our ex's are gay lovers." - Kyle and Jenny on how they met
"A reunion from this many states and only 2 of you are drinking? That's just wrong." - Our waiter at Olive Garden
"Only 2 of us are over 21." - Kyle, just previous to realizing he would have served us all, considering Jenny didn't even get carded
"You two are the human equivalent of steel wool." - Kelly about Natalie and Jenny
"She's a bully. A big, mean, scary, insecure bully." - Jenny
"Any man who plays rock banjo has my admiration." - Jenny
"He's buff, he's a guy, and he has to pee every 10 minutes." - Us about Matt
"Caution - this is not a drum solo." - BNL
"Wanna see my fly?" - Jeanette
"Is our skeleton on the outside or the inside?" "The outside." "Are you sure?" "Yes." - Teacher and Beth in 390
"Nothin' like a little gay pride." - Pete when he walked in on us watching Center Stage
"That was lamer than a one legged duck on ice." - Pete remarking on a pick up line in Center Stage
"It's kind of hard to dot the i's." - Matt on 'writing his name' in the snow
"Matt, you don't have any i's in your name." - Jenny
"Hey! When you're in the woods for a long time, things happen!" - Matt
"You wish him the best, in a land far, far away." - Kelly
"I would jump off a cliff like a lemming for you!" - Natalie
"I don't want to just shoot ducks. I want to machine gun them." - Natalie expressing her desire to learn sit spins
"Now I'm a little old Russian lady." - Pete
"Pete, you have a fine, firm ass. I have noticed it on many occasions." - Matt
"Elementary Ed is your bitch." - Matt to Jenny
"Girls and boys, I'm your teacher...I would like you to know that Elementary Ed is my bitch." - Pete imitiating how Jenny should introduce herself to her kids
"If they had given me one phone call, do you know who I would have called? Matty, so he could bring me my freakin' P-Chem book. They would have let me out by the morning." - Pete
"You're like a deer on a salt lick." - Matt about Jenny's obsession with the salt rather than the margarita
"Looks like someone had a sleepover last night." - Earl to Natalie upon seeing her walking out of the boys room at noon with her backpack, wearing pajamas
"The next category will be, Statistical Thermodynamics." - Pete playing Outburst
"I said that already!" - The other team's measley attempt to steal points
"That was the first thing I said, forever ago!" - still trying to steal points!
"I thought a hangover was half the fun!" - Kelly
"Jenny doesn't drink well when she adds." - Allison and Kelly mocking Jenny's attempt to add 3 and 6 to get 10 (while she was sober, nonetheless!)
"They'd gum him to death! That'd be like getting attacked by an old man!" - Ryan on fish
"Fish only have 2 emotional states. Love, and death." - Kelly
"I never thought there could be a wussier fish than last year's beta fish. I was wrong. This year's beta fish is worse." - Natalie
"My hair's not curly! It's linearly challenged!" - Kyle
"My hair is just plain challenged." - Jenny
"Chain yourself to the bed...it's for your own good." - Matt to Jenny
"Ooh...kinky." - Jenny
"Or whatever DOESN'T float your boat." - Pete
"Bow chicka bow chicka" - Matt doing sound effects to General Hospital
"Not really, they're engaged." - Jenny explaining General Hospital
"Ooooh....forget the bow chicka bow chicka...it's more like Kenny G sax solos." - Matt
"I still don't know who I'm doing research with this winter." "You can do research with me!" "On what, human anatomy?" - Allison, Pete, Allison
"Screw you guys! I said something funny! Laugh damnit!" - Allison in response to the silence after her last quote
"Look at me! Do I look like someone who has sex for fun?!?" - Jenny
"Uh, there's just no right answer to that one. Sorry." - Matt and Kevin
"Can I steal a years supply of computer paper?" - Matt
"Only if you do a little dance for us. <Dawson's comes back from commericial> Nevermind, Take your paper and go! Dawson's is on!" - Jenny and Natalie to Matt
"Thank you, Dawson." - Matt
"Its better being a guy =) you have logic, don't get a period, don't have to give birth, can drive a car, and be rude, and crude, and its ok. it rocks =)" - Peter on what he's thankful for
"Tell Natalie. She can help you. Since i'm a boy, your ex, and a sex fiend, you can never trust what I say." - Peter
"Plasticize?? Did they even have plastic in 1914?" - Matt reading an old ad
"I have no desire to see Pete naked." - Matty
"And now back to our regularly scheduled programming...my nasty away message." - Natalie
"Kyle's in Virginia? How can she be there when we need her?!?!" - Natalie
"Anyone wanna tell me why there are thorn bushes in the living room?" - Kevin
"It's a jungle out there." - Jenny
"Look at me! I'm fat! I'm huge!" - Natalie
"What's the problem?" - Kevin
"Could those leaving alcohol containers in our room please remove them? I'm in enough trouble with the law! I feel uncomfortable enough in your room, you don't need to drag your habits over here too!" - Pete
"You put my thing on the fridge and I put your thing where?" - Matt
"Don't worry Jenny, I won't let him rape you!" - Natalie
"She put my card on the fridge! We know who is valedictorian of this class!" - Matt
"That's quite the package you got down there." - Matt
"Federal express, baby." - Pete
"I wouldn't touch that poster with my 10 foot pole." - Pete
"He's no longer a dominant factor in my life." - Pete
"Are you saying he's submissive?" - Jenny
"Pete, when did you start posing for posters? I almost didn't recognize you." - Matt
"Those were my flabby years. I'm so embarrased!" - Pete
"We need a kinixen pin to hook it up to our conoculator valve." - Pete
"I'm a male. We die for things. We're protectors." - Peter
"You have to have a vowel in every consanant" - Jenny the School teacher to be
"My goal is to suck you all in" - Jenny to a roomfull of boys
"Leave." - Jenny and Natalie to Matt
"Hey! It's my room!" - Matt
"Leave." - Jenny and Natalie to Matt
"I'm leaving now." - Matt
"Am I naked yet?" - Jenny to Kevin
"I'm still working on it." - Kevin's response (Yes these are COMPLETLY out of context)
"So anyway, by the time they were done with his head, he looked like Gunther on Friends." - Matt on Slick's haircut
I'm running around naked with a big giant stick." - Matt
"I went to the bathroom and it all came out of my pants." - Matt out of context
"Jenny, don't yell. We bought fake snow." - Kevin and Natalie
"You spent 15 bucks on a tree? You could have spent that on beer!" - Allison
"Since you enjoyed the Bahama Mama, my mom sent you lots and lots of presents. Open the fridge!" - Natalie
"That tree looks like something out of Charlie Brown!" - The boys
"You bought fake snow and DIDN'T expect it to wind up all over your room? What did you think they'd do with it, sprinkle it lightly over your tree?" - Pete
"Anyone up for some warm apple pie?" - Kevin
"It's a cute pie Kev, but it's missing those nice lattice lines on top." - Jenny
"You mean the insertion holes?" - Matt
"If I was a chick, I would be all over Captain Picard." - Pete
"I don't want to go to bed, because bed brings class, and class brings work, and work brings suffering, and suffering leads to the dark side." - Peter
"Are we going to a gay bar?" - Matty
"I'm allowed to take off my shoes and be comfortable and be a bitch if you people make me sit bitch!" - Natalie
"Just lick his hand when he covers your mouth, Jenny." - Natalie about Kevin
"Are you crazy? I don't know where that hand has been!" - Jenny
"Anyone needing a soda bottle?" - Natalie
"Is it wide mouth?" - Jenny
"Hey Kev, push that drunk guy down." - Natalie
"But if I do that, he'll fall over the edge." - Kevin
"Exactly." - Jenny and Natalie
"Why are we getting on 95 South?" - Matt
"Cause that's how you get to Washington, duh." - Jenny
"WE'RE GOING TO WASHINGTON FOR THIS CONCERT?!?!?!?!" - Matt
"Natilee was telling us how the spanyards were forever in love with girls, and peta says sarcastically "Those crazy spanyards"and matty chimes in with "They had it all wrong" - Kevin
"Can you think of a better place to speed through than the Midwest?" - Natalie playing Apples to Apples
"I know I sound dumb. I'm just aiming for the webpage." - Matty
"Now that Pete ruined the suprise, I gotta think of something else to get you for Christmas. What else do you like to lick?" - Matt
"Retract that card, young sir." - Pete
"Think about all the horrible stereotypes that abound in pro wrestling!" - Natalie
"Can you think of anything cooler than a blizzard?" - Natalie
"Yes - Custard's last stand." - Kevin
"All's fair in love, war, and Twister." - Matty
"Put it down there between my legs." - Matty
"Oh my god my balls!" - Pete
"I'm only good with Matt's head up my ass." - Allison
"Hey Matt, how's the view?" "Pretty good from here!" - Kevin and Matt
"Where should I start sucking?" - Matt
"I better go brush up on my Canadian." - Matt on 'taggin the border'
"Just cause Matty watched GH with me twice on Friday doesn't mean I have to watch this sci-fi crap!" - Jenny
"Do I even have to make the gay joke now?" - Allison
"If you're a guy and you have to pee while riding a buffalo, you just kind of turn to the side." - Jenny
"There's nothing worse then riding a piss covered buffalo." - Pete
"I get straight A's every time! No, wait, that's the person I'd be if I wasn't this lazy!" - Peter
"Wow. That only happens like that in cartoons." - Matt remarking on him and Matty bumping their foreheads together
"Ow! My nipple!" - Pete
"You're ripping the skin off my sternum!" - Pete
"They do live in pods! They do! And they're really called pods!" - Matt on Killer Whale living habits
"Going to the dentist keeps up with your oral hygine. Going to the gynecologist keeps up with your feminine hygine." - Matt
"My head was just in the crotch of two different men in 20 minutes. How could life ever get better?" - Jenny (on playing Twister, those of you with sick minds!)
"Easy. Sticking your head in the crotch of 3 guys in 20 minutes." - Kyle
"Or...having 2 guys stick their head in my crotch!" - Jenny
"This conversation is getting too sick to continue!!" - Jenny
I want a hippo for Christmas." - Matt
"No you don't! Hippos are mean! There are so many safari deaths due to hippos! They'll kill you, no questions asked. No, 'Pardon me sir, you're in my area.' Just instant death!" - Natalie
"Mine would like me becusae I would raise him from birth and I'd call him Stampy. Or Chaz. Yeah, Chaz the Hippo. " - Matt
"Oh Physics! Absorb! Come to me!" - Matt with his book pressed against his head
"These french fries are the anti-christ of healthy food." - Matt
"That meal will put hair in your arteries." - Pete
"Let's go to the beach!" - Matt
"It's almost like God is a big giant snail." - Natalie
"Jenny, you read as well as a hippopotumus." - Kevin
"I think I'm allergic to nighttime." - Jenny
"Maybe you're not really a human at all, Jenny, but a plant." - Pete
"Ah, yes, that would explain the leaves that are growing out of me." - Jenny
"When you stand in one place for awhile, do you start to root?" - Pete
"Today I learned not only something about myself, but something about clipboards." - Pete
"Gee, I wish I could go line dancing right now." - Pete
"That Matt Hagon is 36 toungue lengths long." - Pete
"HEY!" - Matt
"Oh shut up. I was being generous." - Pete
"What size?...Large I guess...It depends...Could you return it later?" - Half of a phone conversation that Matt was having
"I hate snow angels!" - Matt