Quotes from Class, Textbooks, Etc.

"For all of you in drug sales, what's a kilo?" - The alternative way to learning computer terminology in EdTech
"Ever see 'The Cutting Edge'? It's just like that. Slap those skates with the funny little toepicks on your feet! 'Toepick!' WoooOOooah! Take risks! Do it!" - Educ 390 on encouraging your students to take risks
"Hi, I'm your Art History T.A. Art History classes put me to sleep." - Self explanatory
"When you're a professional, you get paid just as much to NOT play the rests as you do to play the notes." - Learning Music Theory
"I am a lioness and will never allow my body to be anyone's resting place...but if I did, I wouldn't yield to a dog...and oh, the lions I've turned away." - courtesy of Natalie and Allison's spanish class
"I'm an egg!" - Jenny and Natalie at ice skating
"Try to work polytomous into a casual conversation around the water cooler. Its intimidation power is awsome." - Popham
"How many of these sssssssssuckers are in this measure? Yes, for those of you laughing, I said sssssssssuckers!" - counting notes in music class
"Experiments show that when a dry, and unlubricated body presses against a surface ..."
"A gravitational force on a body is a pull that is directed towards a second body."
"The moral of 'The Emperor's New Clothes' fable, of course, is that a ruler is not apt to redress his state of undress unless somone informs him he's naked as a jaybird."
"Standards, of course, is a warmth-inducing word. Although perhaps not in the same league with motherhood, democracy, and babies, I suspect that standards ranks right up there with oatmeal, honor, and excellence. It's really tough not to groove on standards, especially if those standards are high."
"For instance, once students create an original essay, the teacher can take that product home on the weekend and, while relaxing in the jacuzzi, either grade or immerse the essays."
"The essay test has probably been around since Socrates was strutting his instructional stuff."
"It is important to 'get it right the first time' or, putting it in more pedantic parlance, to 'eschew egregiously inferior initial assessment conceptualizations.'"
"In the next chapter you'll be learning about black berry-ripple exams and mocha-mango assessment devices."
"Too many clauses, except at Christmas-time, mess up test items. (For readers needing a clue to the previous sentence's cryptic meaning, think of a red-garbed guy who brings presents.)"


Quotes from Movies, Plays, TV, Songs, Etc.

"Happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat." - Notting Hill
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love me." - Julia Roberts, Notting Hill
"They're called boobs, Ed." - Julia Roberts, Erin Brockovich
"A 4 pointed triangle is what Euclid rode into hell." - "Einstein" - Picasso at the Lapin Agile
"I have to pee...but not while you're in the missionary position." - Quotes out of context from Picasso at the Lapin Agile
"God made everything but unbreakable hearts." - Jessica Andrews
"It could have been different somehow, if I knew then what I know now." - Doug Stone
"How do you leave the past behind when it keeps finding ways to get to your heart? It reaches way down deep and tears you inside out til you're torn apart" - Rent
"I go about my business, I'm doing fine, besides-What would I say if I had you on the line?" - Jewel
"If you'll buy that, I've got oceanfront property in Arizona." - some country song
"You're like my fairy godmother, Santa Clause, and Q all in one! Q from Bond, not Star Trek." - Buffy
"Did you even take the hypocratic oath?" "I had my fingers crossed." - Benton and Romano, ER
"It's all about sex." - Center Stage
"Being nice when you say something pricky is even prickier." - Center Stage
"You fly more when it's from the heart." - Center Stage
"She's a heartbeat away from tattooing your name on her ass." - Center Stage
"I want what I say I want when I say I want it." - Center Stage
"Oh oh, what's the matter with you baby?
What ever happened to that first kiss you couldn't resist?
Now you're thinking you can do better than this.
Oh, oh, what's the matter with you baby?
Do you only want the ones you know you can't have?
True love's so much better than that!" - Claudia Church
"This place grows on you." "So does foot fungus." - Carter and Abby, ER
"I feel like I've been in a coma for the past twenty years. And I'm just now waking up." - American Beauty
"I suppose I could be pissed off about what happened to me. But it's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world. Sometimes I feel like I'm seeing it all at once, and it's too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that's about to burst." - American Beauty
"It's a great thing when you realize you still have the ability to surprise yourself." - American Beauty
"It is always surprising how small a part of life is taken up by meaningful moments. Most often they're over before they start even though they cast a light on the future and make the person who originated them unforgettable." - Anna and the King
"How do you document real life when real life's getting more like fiction each day?" - Rent
"Naked male insecurity really leaves me cold." - Cutting Edge
"Today it's Wheaties boxes. Tomorrow it's video games and action figures. The sky's the limit!" - D2: The Mighty Ducks
"Me? I'm scared of everything! I'm scared of what I saw, I'm scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I'm scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I'm with you!" - Dirty Dancing
"Bite my ass, Krispy Kreme!" - Erin Brockovich
"Sometimes the people we meet change us forever." - Forces of Nature
"I found out what the secret to life is: friends. Best friends." - Fried Green Tomatoes
"The son of my hated rival trapped forever in a river of death? Hmm... is there a catch?" - Hades (Hercules)
"You know how men are. They think "no" means "yes" and "get lost" is "take me, I'm yours!" - Meg (Hercules)
"All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked." - "Yeah, but John, if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks 
down, the pirates don't eat the tourists." - Jurassic Park
"Picasso, Einstein, Picasso, Einstein. My only regret is that we'll be in different volumes in the cncyclopedia." - 'Picasso at the Lapin Agile'
"But there'll be no Schmendiman to come between us." - Picasso at the Lapin Agile
"Anyway, like I was sayin', shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, sautee it. Dey's uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that's about it." - Forrest Gump
"Oh come on, the Mets don't even have a closer!" "What about Benetiz?" "Um, Yeah right." - Joey and date (Friends) on my sentiments about Armando Benetiz
"You can drink all you want...in the morning the memories will still be in your head and you'll just have a hangover to go with them." - Third Watch
"Hello, it's me. I'm not at home. If you'd like to reach me, leave me alone!" - Cheryl Crow
"Life is like homework. You gotta study if you wanna get an A." - Freaks and Geeks
"I love you more than I did the week before I discovered alcohol." - BNL
"I'm warning you, don't ever do those crazy messed up things that you do. If you ever do, I promise you I'll be the first to cruxify you." - BNL
"You'll shoot your eye out, kid." - A Christmas Story
"But she had a gun!" "This is texas - every florist has a gun" - Commericial on TV for some Sandra Bullock movie pointing out what a GREAT governor Dubya is.
"Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say "Hi?" - From "Slow Dance"
"Being all nice and sweet to get something out of women? I never do that. Never." "What do you do, then?" "I got used to getting nothing from women." - Everybody Loves Raymond
There's a boy on our show that calls his piece of wood 'Planck', what do you call yours?" - Some cartoon show Pete was watching (Kyle - I think you're the 
only one who will read this that will appreciate the old humor in that line, but it's worth it becuase *I* laughed when I heard it and people just laughed at 
me) :)

Random Quotes

"Personally, I never worry about flying until the pilot starts sounding nervous." - Marilla Svinicki
"So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone for bring you flowers, and you learn that you really are strong, that you can really endure, and you really do have worth. With every good-bye, you learn." - Veronica Shoftstal
"Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital." -Aaron Levenstein
"Dizziness results from rapid eye movement as skaters focus on objects flying by. The trick is to keep the eyes still by imagining a fixed blurred line and focusing on it." - random information that came in a useless info email - we shall see if it works!
"It is much easier to apologize than it is to get permission." - Grace M. Hopper
"My father says, 'If you can't go to Paris, go to Cleveland.' My art history TA says, 'If you can't go to Athens, go to Nashville.' I never knew the two random cities I chose to get familiar with would make me such a well seasoned traveler." - Jenny
"I've forgotton more than you will ever know." - Dr. Munson
"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." - Confucious
"When you come home at the end of the day, you really feel like you touched a kid. In the legal way, that is." - From a forum discussing student teaching
"To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your own path and don't worry about the darkness for that is when stars shine the brightest." - Unknown
"Nothing says 'I rule by divine right' quite like candles." - IKEA Commericial
"There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, more perilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success, than to take the lead in theintroduction of a new order to things." - Machiavelli
"Become so wrapped up in something that you forget to be afraid." - Lady Bird Johnson
"Nothing can be so perfect when we possess it as it will seem when remembered." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one" - Malcolm Forbes
"Macaroni hurts - Don't feed the band." - BNL sign
"Underwear hurts - Don't feed the band." - Our version
"Eat more chikin" - The Chick-fil-a cows
"Welcome to Delaware - Small Wonder - Home of Tax Free Shopping" - Every sign we passed
Things I found in my Art History notes while studying for the midterm...
"Swooptidoo guy kicking his game with a bunch of identical chicas." - Describing the artwork on the parthenon
"Athens found out they ain't all that so they went scizo on themselves."
"Fuck the Romans and their damn concrete shopping malls."
"Stellllllllllla!" - Describing 'The Stela of Hammarabui"
"Wax on, wax off." - Describing 'The Scraper'
"Un-kings have a big suckage factor."
Today I learned to never keep my ammo (1) in a building that represents everything my culture means, (2) in a building on a mountain in the middle of the city, and (3) ESPECIALLY not in a place that is all of the above.
"War=bad. War means time to learn about a new style of art."
"No. Don't think so. Homie don't play that. Yeah right. Not! Wrong. Negatory."
"We see the penis as a sensual work of art now." - From lecture
"Penis is supposed to be sexy now, not a dangiling ideal proprtioned thingamabob anymore." - My notes
"The male parts are from here on out shown naturalistically except in specific portraits where men make themselves look powerful." - Lecture
"The male obsession with penis size begun here." - My notes
Any university that advertises on a billboard...don't go there.
No bird poop! - Advertisment for why you should park in a certain parking garage
The BNL like to eat, eat apples and bananas...
"The reason angels can fly is that they take themselves so lightly." - G.K. Chesterton
The great advantage of telling the truth is that one is so much more likely to sound convincing. - Susan Howatch
"Teachers open the door, but you must enter by yourself." - Chinese Proverb
"All I'm saying is, if a kid has to pee, let him pee!!" - my little pal Nick on good classroom management
"A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have."
"Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us."
"Good friends are like stars....You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."
"Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them."
"Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end."
"Most people walk in and out of your life, But only friends leave footprints in your heart."
"I'm sorry I ever invented the Electoral College." - Al Gore - November 8, 2000
"Serbian President Vojislav Kostunica deployed more than 30,000 peacekeeping troops to the U.S. Monday. ‘We must do all we can to support free elections in America and allow democracy to gain a foothold there." - The Onion
"In the light of your failure to elect a President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, 
effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchial duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does not fancy. Among the rules for British living, There is no such thing as ‘U.S. English.’ We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 8th will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called ‘Indecisive Day.’" - Random Email
"I'm telling you. Make your ballots like advent calendars and you'll have a 98% turnout rate! Everyone cept those damn diabetics." - BNL
"Tonight is a very special night for us, you see. Tonight is the Canadian federal elections, the night where we actually elect leaders, unlike you people." - BNL
"OJ would have been convicted if they had had a better theme song!" - BNL
"If Tipper likes us, can we still call ourselves a rock band?" - BNL
"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have others." - Groucho Marx
"Silence is true wisdom's best reply." - Eurpides
"Losing Moose, it's like a lot of fans have been stabbed, and that wound is going to be hard to heal." - At least the O's know how I feel
"Life has taught me to forgive much, but to seek forgiveness still more." - Otto von Bismarck
"The next time he goes down to Congress to tell his tale of woe, Robin Hood Selig can bring Exhibit A with him. All the socialist-minded commissioner has to do is get his hands on the videotape of an event held in the caverns of Yankee Stadium yesterday. There the Yankees showed their capitalistic disdain for their brethren by spending $88.5 million for six years on Mike Mussina, to say nothing of the dozen roses for Mussina's wife and a Yankee Barbie Doll for his daughter and a Yankee teddy bear for his son." - New York Times
"Don't blame me...I think I voted for Gore" - bumper sticker
"We really do believe in zero tolerance." - Barry McDevitt, Washington, D.C.'s Metro Transit Police chief, on the arrest of a 12-year-old girl eating French fries at a subway station

Away Messages and AIM Profile Quotes That We Find Amusing

"I'm naked in the shower... would you like to join me? Only answer yes if you're a pretty female without any odd diseases or emotional hangups, otherwise 
I'll kill you before you set one foot beyond the curtain" - Ryan
"My name is Rupert and I live in London, England. I don't have any hobbies but my career as bank adjuster is quite fulfilling." - Ryan
"If you thought he was all that and a bag of chips, the man God has in store for you to marry is all that, a bag of chips, a supersized Coke, a brownie, AND 
a breathmint." - Carrie (I assume someone who Kyle knows!) :)
"Never frown, you never know who might be falling in love with your smile!" - Kyle
"make me a milkshake, bartender. be sure to put some of that smooth groove in it so it sloshes like love in my tummy." - Jeff
"Freshmen are cute, cuddly, bumbling things, but they are also viscious, teeth-gnashing twits. Thus sayeth the Steve." - Marisa
"i'm not thinking of wasting time, but time is thinking of wasting itself. stop thinking, time, stop thinking." - Jeff
"Went home. Had to feed the kids." - Matt
"The doctor is BUSY" - Ed
"I am a person. I prefer eggs over spam and Ohio over South Dakota. I never jump tall buildings in less than three bounds. My best day is Monday and my 
sign is "Help Wanted". No tagbacks, please." - Jeff
"I've gotta go save the world again." - Ryan
"Ok, I lied. The only thing funnier than watching your hamster fall halfway into a glass of orange juice is watching your hamster discover her shadow." - 
Kyle
"i will do my best
to fix the rest
so it'll rhyme
what a crime!
this project is dumb
i want to come
to visit you
and the others too
but alas
i have a tas(k)
to complete
before i sleep..." - Natalie avoiding her many projects
"Kevin likes chem a lot
Natilee thinks it's dumb, but it is not
Math can be lots of fun too
Especially when integrating something new
But today
I really must say
all this homework
doesn't rhyme with orange
and therefore I will stop
trying to rhyme without a mop
because of a word like homework
Which I just can't get to rhyme without someone named dirk" - Kevin responding to Natalie
Now I am done
That was no fun
anything must be better than Fluids
like access; invented by druids
and I don't know why
Some really dumb guy
had to invent organic molecules
it's really as dumb as a word like schmolecule
But I am finally done
With all this fun
subject matter
hopefully it won't get any fatter
like nester
one of the bester
cows in the field
who without a shield
would make really good
hamburgers cooked with wood
not with cow pies
that would make me cry
to see all of that
good meat go to scrap (approximate) - Kevin again
"Today I learned that I cannot rhyme,
But Kevin's writings sound so sublime.
My room got covered in a blanket of snow
Becuase I was too nice today to say no.
To Kevin and Nat when they came to me
and said "Jenny this bag will bring us glee!"
That guys that are straight and guys that are gay
Are all willing to strip when a girl comes to play.
I got lots of advice, some good and some bad,
I didn't listen at all, not one small little tad.
We ate a turducken, us and John Madden,
But now it's gone and we are all sadden.
Now to sleep, to sleep I go
Becuase tomorrow is the BNL show!
We will get in the car and drive really far
But hey at least it's not in MY car!
Now i feel like I'm part of the gang
cuase i rhyme really bad using all kinds of slang.:-)" - Jenny getting in on the fun
"Horton heard a who. I'm out investigating." - Ally
""It's gonna rain pickles." Be prepared." - Ally
"Sometimes I'm clueless and I'm clumsy but I've got friends that love me and they know where I stand. It's all a part of me and that's who I am." - Kyle
"Fact: In St. Louis, it is against the law to sit curbside and drink beer from a bucket." - Mike
"Friends don't let friends breed alpacas" - Kyle's Page
"generations of lederhosen-laiden leprechauns have been discovered in the family tree of my future children, according to the National Science And 
Archaeology Institute of Germany." - Jeff
"Looking at Navier-Stokes equations, untill my eyes hurt. Kevin doesn't like helical flows." - Kevin
"I'm genetically challenged" - Sarah
"You know what? I'm going to take over the world... tomorrow, that is. Yep, just call me Scarlett. "I won't think about that now. I'll think about that 
tomorrow, for tomorrow is another day." - Ally
"¡Oh muerte! ¿Por qué no vienes y llevas esta alma mía de aqueste cuerpo mezquino, pues se te agradecería?" - Allison
"All I want to do all day is bang on a circular membrane, with the constant C^2 equal to T/rho where T is the tension, and rho is the density of the 
membrane. And now with: c^2*(diff(w(r,theta,t),r$2)+1/r*diff(w(r,theta,t),r))=diff(w(r,theta,t),t$2)
I can!" - Kevin

"seagulls and brandy... cockroaches and cookies... teradactyls and teriyaki... which would you prefer?" - Jeff
"I learned that Summer's Eve is like a peppermint pattie for your hoo-ha." - Dee